Digger (digzmania) wrote,

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Aunt Flo arrived today...

Just in time for Karen to go back to work, after her Christmas / New Year Holiday.

The kids and I are still off for another few days. The kids start back to school on Monday the 7th, and I start my new job with Iron Mountain that same day.

To be honest, I'm not exactly sure why I bother tracking aunt flo anymore. I live in a sexless relationship, where my marriage is more about being Karen's room mate, tax filing status, and some arrangement of shared finances, while trying to parent our kids, than anything resembling a romantic or intimate relationship between a husband and wife.

The more I try to make any form of emotional or intimate bond with my wife, the more she ignores me, belittles me, and pushes me away.

The thought of being romantic or intimate with me doesn't even cross her mind. We had sexual relations all of three or four times in the entirety of 2018, and I had to fake reaching climax on the last two of those because she made no effort to even participate in the event other than lay there and tell me that "this is all for you, so do what you need to do." that was all it took for me to instantly begin losing any arousal I had when we started, so rather than being embarrassed for not being able to keep an erection in the face of obvious intimate rejection, I faked it and pulled out.

She didn't even try to have an orgasm. Just laid there. It didn;t feel like love making. Just cold, passionless, and empty.

So, I suppose tracking aunt flo is more of a defense mechanism now, as opposed to tracking when or if I might have any sort of sexual relationship with the woman I love.
Tags: aunt flo, karen, loneliness, period
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