October 25th is still 4 weeks away from tonight, and I still am holding out with a sliver of hope that Karen will change at least one of her vacation days to take of fans spend with me on either Thursday the 26th or Friday the 27th, so that we can share a night together at the Ameristar hotel the night before.
That next day will mark exactly 5 years and 4 months since Karen made a promise to be my sexy barberette and give me an erotic haircut. Vowed to shave my head, and be my fantasy barberette for three months. I've waited so long for this day to finally come true.
Regardless of how much I might love my long hair, I am so anxious and eager to finally share this special occasion with her. At this point it is about much more than just a haircut, or a fantasy, or a hair fetish. At this point it even transcends beyond my hopes and dreams of the shared vulnerability and intimacy. It's about respect, and erasing the hurt of so many years of being pushed away, having no intimacy in our relationship, and feeling abandoned from being ignored sexually and emotionally by my wife. It's about a chance to heal. I mean, seriously, I've been begging for over 5 years now, and at no time in all those years has she made any effort to meet this need.
But it's also about something else that is so very important to me right now.
I desperately want Karen to quit smoking again. It will always be a fetish thing for me, and I can't make that just go away; but I HATE that she is still smoking all these years later. If she hadn't insisted on ignoring me for all this time, she could have quit years ago.
I hate that she gets up in the morning, and the first thing that she does is goes out to have a cigarette, then comes in to get the kids up, then goes back out to have another cigarette. By the time I leave for work about two hours later, she is on cigarette number 4 or 5. And then she smokes about a pack over the course of the rest of the day. That's insane. I'm tired of playing Russian Roulette with her health.
That's not what I ever wanted. That's not sexy to me. It makes me sad.
Why can't she just keep her promise, shave my head, be my barberette for one last time, and let me close this chapter in my messed up mind and sexual hang ups?
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, Karen. Please help me to close this final chapter of this obsession, and take the time to fulfill this request.
Four weeks from this evening, we could be going out to dinner , after dropping the kids off at a grandma's house (or maybe your mom would come over to our house for the evening), and then go check into the Ameristar hotel for the night.
I would love nothing more than to have you spend the evening with me, indulging my fantasy to photograph, film, and watch you fulfilling my deepest, most intense fantasies and desires (short of shaving your head). Take some time to dress up in all of your sexy outfits, do a few fetish fashion shoots and smoking videos for me to play back later on. Then keep your promise to give me an erotic haircut, cut my long hair off, and finish an awesome evening by shaving my head completely bald.
(Maybe you might even let me give you some sexy bangs, or a slight undercut at the nape of your neck, while we are at it. ???
I've really been wanting to try giving you some cute bangs again. They are so long, and snipping them off would be a super special treat.)
But I really need you to fulfill this request for me. Help me get past the years of being ignored and neglected. Share this special moment and evening with me, and then both of us can move on to bigger and better things together.
And the best part, you can finally quit smoking again. Be healthier. Not have me being the reason why you feel you have to keep up this harmful habit. I won't give you trouble, or attempt to sabotage your in any way. Promise.
So, as of right now, I'm not giving up hope. I'm hoping and praying that you will consider saving one of your remaining vacation days off to share with me in this very special way.