Digger (digzmania) wrote,

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And so it begins - Can't Sleep, and I'm already a Nervous Wreck

Didn't expect the restless nights, bad dreams, and anxiety attacks to start quite so soon. Karen won't even be leaving until this time tomorrow morning (04:50 AM) when I drop her off at her Mom's house at 5 AM.

Fitbit says I have gotten 2 hours and 22 minutes total combines "sleep" for tonight; if you can call any of what I've had to be sleep.

I wish I were going with her (or that she weren't going at all). Especially after the events in Las Vegas this past weekend.

But seriously, I should be going with her. I could keep her safe if I were with her.

At this rate, it is looking like it was a very smart move on my part to schedule off from work on Friday. If this past night is any indication of nights to come, I won't be getting much, if any, sleep for the next 4 nights.

I'm going to be a ball of nerves from the moment she leaves, till the moment that she touches back down in STL this coming Sunday. By then, I'm quite literally going to be a raw pile of gibbering, shot, mental case, twitching nerves.

Thank God that Jack will be with my mom the whole weekend (although that has me worried as well, with Mom driving them to the country for the family reunion. Someone like Aaron or Steve should be driving them). I still have to talk things over with Dini, but I'm pretty much planning to cancel our campout this weekend. Unless she absolutely wants to sleep in a tent Friday night, I'm not camping at all. We can just go help out with the pack's events on Saturday.

For now,... I just have to hold it together, and try to appear normal, until after I drop her off tommorow morning. Then get the kids on the bus a few hours later. After that, I can't guarantee much of anything.

That's all I have to say about it for the moment. I have to go throw up now.

Tags: angry, furious, karen, new york, sleep deprived, stress, stressed, trip, worried
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