Digger (digzmania) wrote,

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I'm not sure if I should be Excited or Disappointed.

Earlier this evening, Karen mentioned something about scheduling the remaining balance of her days off from work in the upcoming month of October; but then she mentioned the week of the 16th through the 20th, and how hard it was to find dates to take off when the kids aren't off school as well.


A part of me is hoping that she is trying to throw me off the scent, and that she is FINALLY planning a romantic Evening for the two of us on one of the nights before a date where the kids are off school, and could be watched by one of their Grandmas.

The reason that I am thinking this could possibly be the case, is because I have spent the entire Summer sending her messages (Here in LJ, via Twitter, notes, and even email) asking her to PLEASE plan a romantic Date Night evening that includes a night at the Ameristar Hotel where we would end up cutting off all of my hair and then shaving my head bald.

The last set of messages that I sent to her were on August 29th, and I sent her a set of screen shots of the reservation prices for the Ameristar Hotel where the price of a room on a Wednesday or Thursday night is half of the normal rate. Twitter shows that she read the messages the next morning. So I know she's had time to ponder and think about it.

So, if that is what she is planning, then I am finally going to get to have Karen be my Fantasy Barberette, and get to have my head shaved next month on either OCT 25th or 26th.
I am so nervous and SO EXCITED all at the same time. I have waited a long time for this to finally happen. I can't wait to feel the vibration of the clippers on my head, and the the tug of the razor as it removes the lather and stubble from my naked head.

And, after karen has kept her promise to be my Barberette, and it's time for me to start growing out some hair again, I am going to do everything I can to help Karen quit smoking again. It's time.


Then there's the part of me that fears that this is just another blow off, yet again.

What if she was serious about all of her remaining vacation days being used up from the 16th through the 20th, and her comment about not "wasting days on days when the kids are off school," was really what she meant?

Is that really how she views my request for her to make an effort to do something intimate and special with me? Am I really nothing more than a "wasted day?" Do I really rate so low on her list of obligations or priorities that she can't even save a single day off of work to spend the day with me after an erotic and romantic night in a hotel?

If this latter is the case, I just don't understand. I don't understand at all.
How she can tell me that she loves me out of one side of her mouth, and then ignore or outright reject me through her actions (or rather, inaction).

Either way, the next couple of weeks are going to prove one way or the other to be the truth.

If she is planning a date night for the two of us to stay at the Ameristar, then she is going to have to ask me to hand over the money I have stashed away for this specific night, and to schedule the day (or days) off of work. In which case I am going to be super nervous and excited and the anticipation of the night builds.

If she is serious about the dates she has scheduled off, and she has once again ignored my request (especially without so much as acknowledging the fact that I have asked her to do this for me) I am going to be disappointed and emotionally crushed.

For right now, I'm keeping my thoughts positive and optimistic. Fingers crossed.
This could finally be it.
Tags: bald, barberette, buzz cut, crew cut, hair fetish, haircut, head shave, karen, leather, lrv, rubber, shave me, smoking fetish, vinyl
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