Digger (digzmania) wrote,

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I honestly don't understand...

You could have simply said, "no." (Although I don't understand why!)
You didn't have to go and schedule every last remaining bit of your time off just to avoid taking a day off with me on one of the dates I suggested that we get a hotel and spend a sexy and erotic night together.

And to schedule an entire week for the week before the day(s) that I asked you to take off with me? Wow! That's cold. You are literally off at least one or more days in every week, except in the two weeks I suggested a date to be off on. That really hurts.

I should have known that there was a reason why you were avoiding sending any kind of response after twitter showed that you had read my private messages. I had incorrectly hoped that it was because you were planning a romantic evening for the two of us.

I know you read the PM's. Twitter shows a check mark next to all read messages. So why the need to pretend that you had no idea why I would have "Ameristar...?" written on the calendar for those nights in October?

TwitterPM_AUG29-2017_1 TwitterPM_AUG29-2017_2
TwitterPM_AUG29-2017_3 TwitterPM_AUG29-2017_4

There are messages in twitter going back to FEB 2016, begging you to shave my head, be my barberette fantasy, and help me to help you quit smoking again.

When you started smoking again in OCT 2014, there was only ONE reason I was even remotely happy about it.... Because I thought it meant you wanted to be my barberette and shave my head for me. I had no idea, nor had any desire, for you to still be smoking nearly three years later.

That makes me so sad. So VERY SAD.

Is there some reason why you don't want to cut my hair off?

Is it because you don't want to quit smoking? and you know that once you have finally kept your promise to be my Barberette that I will ask you to quit?
As many times as I have heard you say that you want to quit, I just don't understand why you keep avoiding every effort I make to help make that possible.

When you were flipping through the calendar, you muttered, "we don't have the money for the Ameristar." Yet I have clearly laid out, and shown you, plans to be able to get a room when the prices are half off of their regular rates, and no more expensive than any other hotel. Additionally, I have stated that I will pay for the hotel room.

I've had money saved and tucked away for a night at the Ameristar for several years; which I have told you on several occasions.

When you say "we don't have money to go to the Ameristar," it is a slap in the face and an insult to me.

My Ameristar money was good enough for you when I dipped into it to buy Dolly Parton tickets. It was good enough for you when I borrowed from it to buy Vince Gill tickets, and even good enough for you when I used a big chunk of it to buy a 2nd pair of Bon Jovi tickets and get us a hotel room in Memphis, TN.

Each time, I have worked long hard hours to pay myself back the money that I've spent on you out of my Ameristar envelope. Each time hoping you will eventually let me spend it on me.

But, what you're telling me, is that the money I put away (starting way back in 2012) to pay for a hotel room, on a night that I have asked you to plan as a romantic and erotic date night, that just so happens to also result in having you be my fantasy barberette and cutting my hair off and having sex, is good enough when I spend it on YOU.... But, not good enough to spend on ME.

Because I DON'T MATTER. When it's something I want, "we don't have money for that." I see where your prioritirs lie, and I keep wondering when I might make it onto the list.

I've been asking you to do this for me for over 5 years now, and you either ignore or reject every request or suggestion that I make. Why? Am I that hideous with a shaved head?
I do plan to grow it back, you know? And maybe not even grow it back out long. I might keep it buzzed or short. I honestly don't know for sure. But I seriously doubt that I'll keep my head shaved past the three months of having you be my Barberette. So if that's the hang up, please talk to me.

Tags: bald, barberette, bubbie, buzz cut, crew cut, hair fetish, haircut, shave me, smoking, smoking fetish
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