First up on the agenda is the Bon Jovi concert tonight, at the FedEx Forum, in downtown Memphis.
I've been planning some fun extracurricular activities for our time alone in our hotel room; but it doesn't look like any those will pan out as I had hoped. We've got two nights and a full day and a half to ourselves, but I don't know for sure what we will end up doing with the rest of the time we are down there, beyond tonight"s concert.
Like I said... I don't think that this two night getaway is going to go the way I had planned, so I'm leaving the majority of the Adventure Fun Kits (video cameras, leather & vinyl outfits, scissors, hair clippers, and mach 3 razors) at home. I'm only taking the clipper set that Karen bought me for my 45th B-Day,and two outfits, along just in case; although, I am not optimistic.
I know that Aunt Flo is expected to show up at any hour now. And, I don't hold that against Karen at all. Not her fault, and not anything that she has control over.
But it is also obvious that she has not even considered the possibility for sex to be any part of this weekend getaway. What if we get lucky, and Aunt Flo doesn't show up today or tomorrow? What if she doesn't show up at all, or until after we are on our way home, or are already back home?
I was looking at the items she is packing for the trip, and the necessary items for a sexual encounter (such as lube, silver bullet, condoms, etc...) are no where to be seen in the pile of items going with us on the trip.
This is a classic example of what I mean when I say she gives no consideration to my needs in our relationship. Who packs for a "romantic getaway trip" (her words, even), and doesn't even give a second thought to sex and intimacy as being an integral part of the trip agenda?
I'd wager that it never even crossed her mind that she should pack any kind of sexy or special outfit to wear for me while we are completely alone with one another in a hotel. That it probably never crossed her mind that I would want to engage in any kind of sex with her. Even with as many times as I have mentioned me wanting her to get us a hotel room at the Ameristar (or somewhere as equally suited for the situation) to act out my barberette fantasy with her, it most likely has not once crossed her mind that this might be an opportunity to act out such a scenario together.
Even though this trip is my gift to her, and the main focus is to take her to see Bon Jovi in concert; I would have thought that the fact that we will have a hotel room all to ourselves (no interruptions, full privacy) would intrinsically imply that this is also a "have lots of sex" weekend. If not, there is something fundamentally wrong with our relationship, and this marriage. Will I ever register as any kind of importance worthy of common courtesy and consideration with her?
I guess it is unfair of me to try to squeeze in expectations for meeting any of my own selfish needs; on a trip that I have planned with the primary purpose of being special for her. I honestly didn't start off with any "ulterior motives" when I started putting this weekend together. But I have learned that if I don't plan opportunities for my own needs and desires to be met along the way, no one else ever does either. (Or to be perfectly blunt, "she won't.")
I was really hoping that I would finally be able to talk her into cutting my hair, and shaving my head bald, this weekend. A night alone together, an erotic haircut, and some passionate love making.
And I wanted to be able to tell Karen, face to face, just how much I want her to try to quit smoking again. How it worries me about how much she smokes, and rhe coughing in the morning, and that it worries me far more than it turns me on anymore.
I just knew in my mind, that as I lay there next to her, with her long nails gently stroking my freshly shaved head, that I will finally have the nerve and resilve to tell her to just quit. Then and there. She could be done, and didnt need to feel obligated to smoke because of me any longer.
If she continues to smoke because of her own reasons, then I will be a constant nagging reason to quit from that day on. But I'll admit, I have this one last, selfish, request. Be my smoking hot barberette, and shave me bald.
So, back to square one. I'm just going to focus on trying to make sure Karen has a good time.
Ultimately, that is what this trip is really all about. I just wish I weren't the only one that put a priority on being romantic or considerate of the other person in this relationship.