Digger (digzmania) wrote,

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Damage Control

Well, it looks like I'm only out of pocket the movie tickets: $34 + $3 for the two tickets and handling fees. Movie tickets are non refundable. I'll ask around work to see if anyone wants them.

Cancelling the hotel room was simple enough, and nothing was charged to my credit card.

I still hadn't completely ironed out the rest of the details for baby sitting for the evening. So there's no one else to explain anything to, or to cancel plans with.

Just my dignity, pride, sense of self worth, hopes, and feelings.

Um, Bell hop. I think I'd like to check out now.

This is about much more than just a stupid movie; or even another instance where my thoughts and feelings were not even a passing thought for consideration. It's about more than the fact that my plans for a valentine's Day date night are now thrown out the window and ruined.

What this situation says to me was: Seeing a movie (specifically intended and marketed towards male/female viewing couples***) with the "girls" is more important than any thought given to the fact that I (her husband) might have wanted to see a sexually provocative movie with her.

She specifically made a point to tell me this last night. She made it clear, in no uncertain circumstances, that she DID NOT want to see this movie with me. I was not to buy tickets to this movie and ruin her "appointment" with the girls day at the movies.

WHY? because the very thought of sharing anything intimate or sexually related with me sickens and repulses her. (AND... EVEN if that statement is not true, that is EXACTLY how it feels to me)

BTW: Thanks for informing me of this revelation, with only one week remaining before the movie's opening date. I now have absolutely NO TIME adequate to change plans and come up with something else for next weekend. The whole theme was planned around this movie opening.

That logic would explain:
why she ignores my attempts to flirt with her. Why she changes the subject, and goes leaps and bounds out of her way to ignore and avoid acknowledging me when I am initiating any kind of action or conversation that might later lead to an intimate or sexual encounter.

If I mention anything sexual, it is as if I have become invisible and ceased to even exist. And once enough of an awkward pause has elapsed the subject is artfully changed to avoid further discussion entirely.

Well, guess what. Ignoring my needs and desires for is no less a rejection than just saying no. In fact, it hurts even more, and scars me worse than anything else she could have said.

(***The marketing firm, and the producer, for this movie stated that the opening date was timed to release the movie the weekend before valentine's Day, in order to directly target the Valentine's Day Date audience. Specifically married and dating couples. Husbands and wives, and boyfriends and girlfriends.)
Tags: 50 shades, loneliness, lonely
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