She said OK.
But I Didn't get to make love to my girl. I didn't even get to have any foreplay.
She basically just laid there while I did my thing.
There was no emotional bonding. It wasn't love. It was cold and mechanical.
But at least I got to have sex for the first time in 74 days.
I guess It's a start. At least that's what I tell myself.
But the sad truth is, that it will probably be another 60 days before I get the chance again; and I fear that it will be as meaningless and emotionless then as it was tonight.
Right now, I can't stop crying. I just want to die.